Neechan
by Rurouni Idoru
Summary: Kurama tells the various stories of his first partner, Kireihana. Closely related to my other Kurama-centric fics.
1. Pretty Like Your Sister

'Neechan

Chapter One: Pretty Like Your Sister

by the Rurouni Idoru

Rurouni's Note: It's about time I started this one! So, yeah, fans of Kireihana (all, what, two of you) rejoice! For she is here! So, yeah, another excursion into the horrible writing that is my first-person Kurama! If you enjoyed Flora, Fauna, and Kites, I can only hope you'll enjoy this one. It's much more lighthearted. You know, usually. Until the sad stuff happens. Expect cameos from various random people, and...uh...other stuff. So, yeah, I'd read "Deep Roots" first. It's sorta important. And like, stuff. I'm just gonna shut up and post the disclaimer now.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, or Kurama. But you know what? I own Kireihana, and I'm uber-proud of that.

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I remember, within a week of meeting Kireihana, she had already shown me that she wasn't the compassionate angel she made herself out to be. My first partner was more virtuous than I was, of course, but she wasn't a gentle, caring soul. She never helped me actually steal anything, but I doubt there's a number high enough to count the number of times she kept me out of trouble for stealing. The first place we went together was a bar. I decided a celebration was in order, now that I had a partner who could extend my abilities beyond stealth, one-on-one combat, and kitsune-bi. This was where I discovered her unvirtuosity.

"A toast!" I held up my glass of red wine and stood up. "To my new partner, Kireihana!" By this time, I had already had a glass or two of wine with dinner, so I was acting a little silly already. "Ain't she lovely? Yeah, look at all that hair. She's gorgeous, right? So, yeah. To you, Kireihana!" And with that, I took a nice sip of the wine. Kireihana, always a stickler for flattery, as I would discover, gladly indulged in the toast herself. What was strange was that once I had put down the glass, she still had it to her mouth, gulping it down. Finally, she placed the empty glass back onto the bar, smiling and faintly flushed.

"This is really good wine. This might be the best wine I've ever had. Where are we?" I blinked several times.

"Are you just drunk, or...?"

"Oh no, I haven't known where I was since I set up that trap. I'd sorta like to know now." I found it difficult to speak.

"...So you didn't even think of asking me where you were before I took you for food that could have been poisoned." She waved her had dismissively.

"No, no, I was wondering, but I have my priorities straight. Eat first, ask questions later. Then you decided you wanted some booze. And if it's been a week and a half since I've eaten, imagine how long it's been since I've partied." She grinned at me smugly, flashing her shining white teeth. "And as for the subject of having me poisoned, you wouldn't do that. I'm offering to teach you some stuff for just one nights' dinner. That's a bargain. Nobody would be dumb enough to turn that down. Why would you kill me at the expense of dinner, when you could wait until I've taught you everything you need and THEN kill me?" My mouth was hanging open. She had just drained a glass of wine and she could still connect this logic? "I thought about this, you know. Like I said, I'm not a little girl anymore."

"One more question. How are you not wasted yet?"

"Oh, that. I have a high tolerance. Gimme another few glasses." I grinned and told her that I was happy to oblige.

The rest of the night was uneventful, and if it wasn't, then I was lit up like New Year. Either way, the rest of the night didn't stick out in my memory. But she had just revealed the bare minimum to me. I had barely scratched the surface of Kireihana. A day or two later that week, I found myself in training. Now, Mr. Miyagi was an interesting teacher. But Kireihana was downright strange.

"You can't learn to spawn plants without learning the skills they're used for first."

"Is that why you have me climbing trees like a frightened kitty while you sit down there drinking mango juice?" I asked her as I ascended my fifth tree that day.

"Pretty much, yeah." And with that, her lips flew back to the cup.

"How do we know when I get it?"

"When you've climbed for an hour an a half. Then, we'll work on vine swinging."

"Wonderful. I can't be a fox anymore, but I can be a cat and a monkey."

"That's why they call 'em cat burglars, Kurama-kun." I remember she called me Kurama-kun because that was the only time she ever did so. At this, I sighed and continued climbing, leaping from branch to branch.

"So, I'm not allowed to practice with the plants I'll be using?"

"Right now, you're using plants on the most basic of levels. Climbing trees that stand still, using vines that are held by only gravity, and even just using them for defensive purposes."

"Defensive purposes?" I looked down from her from my perch on a limb above. She looked at me and shrugged.

"Well, they're not offensive purposes, so what else are they? Either way, you're using these plants for basic purposes because they're basic plants. When you're ready to move onto plants that you can manipulate yourself, then I'll move you right along. We don't have all the time in the world, kitsune boy. Well, you might, I didn't notice too many tails on you, but I don't. I have things I wanna do before the next century." I jumped into another tree and began to leap upwards.

"Like what?"

"Like...I dunno, fall in love, maybe. Or be swept off my feet. Or maybe find something really important to someone that they've lost, and get a fat reward for it."

"Why the last one?"

"Well, mainly to prove to you that do-gooders get some good stuff too. If someone gave me my weight in gold for a paltry little piece o' crap, then I have done right and still gotten rewarded." I smirked as I jumped into a tree about two yards away.

"But that's swindling, isn't it? That's not fair."

"If the one who paid me thought it was fair, then it's just their crappy judgement, now isn't it? They're the ones who gave me a better award than I deserved. Their problem. Kireihana's going shopping."

"I thought you had virtue or whatever that crap you were preaching the other day was."

"Yeah, I have morals and stuff." I chuckled. "morals and stuff," that only compacted my point. "But I'm not_ stupid_." She flicked a few strands out of her face as she spoke. "And morals and brains are a rare combination."

"This is true. Not only are they rare," I I jumped into a tree roughly three yards away, doing a flip in the middle, and impressing myself, "but they're fairly scary. Of course, that's only assuming you're a good example on the combination." Kireihana grinned.

"Nice jump." I smiled.

Moral, smart, manipulative, and a social drinker. What could I have missed? I'll tell you what I missed, ladies and gentlemen, I missed her looks. For someone as generic-looking as she was, she looked very unique. Her honey-colored hair was very long. How long? When I met her, it touched her knees. Her hair grows fairly fast, too. Her eyes were narrow and slanted, and they were sky blue. Her ears were pointed, and she liked to wear orange lip gloss or lipstick or whatever it was, I never really found out. But it was orange. Her favored outfit consisted of a very short burgundy dress and black capri pants. This is important, because the dress had a diamond-shaped hole hin the chest, revealing whatever clevage she felt the need to show off. I thought it looked trashy at first, but I learned that it had a purpose: She kept a small pouch of seeds, money, and other little necesities tucked away in there, and the hole was for easy access to the bag. Of course, at any time, she was prone to decide she wanted to change her look. After the first year of our partnership, she always wore the crystal neckalce that I'll explain later. Usually, she tucked it into her shirt or dress, so it wouldn't be damaged. The fact that I knew her so well and she was rather...brazen as far as I went, it sort of detroyed the goddess-like image she liked to project of herself. But I do recall when we first slept near to each other. It was in a small space, a few feet between trees in the forest. I was feeling fairly troubled about our training. I felt that I was making no progress. Apparently, however, sipping mango juice and watching a Youko jump from tree to tree and swing from vine to vine took more out of one than I would have thought. I deduced this when Kireihana fell dead asleep in about two minutes. Seeing Kireihana asleep meant seeing her not talking, which meant seeing her not yelling at me for once. And then, I noticed something. When she wasn't yelling at me, she was quite pretty. I specifically use the word, "pretty" because it fits in a way its synonyms do not. I couldn't place my finger on it then, but now I know the kind of pretty she was. She was pretty like Christmas day at the Minamino house. The house is a mess, with gifts and wrapping paper everywhere, relatives you haven't seen all year are having awkward conversations with you, and dinner won't be ready for another three hours, but it's one of the best days of the year. She was pretty like my (or anyone else's) big sister when cleaning. Her hair was sort of messy, and pulled back in a ponytail, and she was wearing a ratty old shirt, and she was sweating bullets. And yet, she sort of glowed, humming to herself as she wiped down things around the room. Of course, I couldn't make that clear a connection at the time. But I did know she was making me think of Kuri-neesan. It was then, as luck would have it, that Kireihana got up to go to the bathroom. Being as astute as she was, she noticed that I was looking at her.

"Something wrong, Kurama?"

"No, nothing. It's just...you sort of reminded me of my sister just then."

"Sister, huh?"

"Mmm-hmm." I chuckled.

"What'chu laughing about?"

"Nothing. Go relieve yourself." Kireihana rolled her eyes and left. It took her only about two minutes to come back. She laid down next to me again, her back to me.

"Goodnight." I smiled softly.

"Goodnight, 'neechan."


	2. Learning What She Had to Teach

'Neechan  
Chapter Two: Learning What She Had to Teach  
by the Rurouni Idoru

Rurouni's Note: In this chapter, Kurama discusses his actual lessons with Kireihana. That's it, really. But, I want to address something else. Okay, Kireihana's mine, but the idea of her may well become a popular one. (In my dreams.) Of course, you can feel free to be inspired by her, but if you actually wanna use her, ask my permission first. I'll probably be fine with it, just don't stretch her out of character. If you wanna maybe have Kurama mention her in one of your fics, my permission's not necessary, I'm okay with that. But...give me a heads up when you post it, 'kay? (No one will.)

Disclaimer: Kireihana's mine. All things she has or does are mine. The rest belongs to whoever else owns it.

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If my years with Kireihana were turned into a movie, there would be drastic changes. For one thing, about fifty years would need to be condensed into roughly two to three hours. For another, no casting director would beleive that Kireihana did, in fact, look cutely charming with her small chest, tiny bump of a rear end, and serious-looking (until she smiled) countenance, and they would instead cast some voluptous woman with thick thighs and breasts that could put someone's eye out, so her goddess-like hair and attitude would match her appearance. Honestly, I like her better the original way: pretending she thought she was a goddess, when she clearly knew otherwise. But the most obvious change would probably be the most tragic. The time I spent in training (at least five years, cumulatively) would most likely be reduced to a slightly silly montage over an upbeat, two-minute song. Let me tell you right now, it was no montage. I specifially recall swinging. She made me swing from vines more than just about anything else. She started me out on whatever what was already growing, then I would create my own using my Youki, and eventually I was able to manipulate them into moving with me, like she did. Of course, mine didn't shoot from the pores in my palms, but I held the seeds there, so it was just as well. She wanted my swinging to be like Spider-Man's, had he been created at that time. If I was too slow for her liking, she would smack my ankle with a willow branch. I remember when she first thought of it, too.

"Ow! What was that?!"

"What, that stinging pain on your ankle? That, my friend, was the soothing touch of discipline! Ha ha ha!" I slowed to a stop on the vine, and subsequently received another sting on the ankle.

"Ow!" She swung in front of me and rolled her eyes.

"The whole point of the willow branch whippings is for you to be motivated into moving faster. The faster you move, the less pain your ankles must endure!" And with that said, she whipped my ankles a third time and kicked her legs into a strange leaping motion, propelling herself behind me. The way she moved in the air, it was like the kind of thing one might see in the circus. It amazes me now. I didn't care then.

"You are cruel and unusual." I began to pull myself forward again.

"You wanted the lessons, ototochan." After moving ahead by two vines, I stopped once more in shock, earning me yet another smack on the ankle. "Stop doing that, ototochan, you're gonna get hurt if you keep pausing."

"What do you mean, _ototochan_?" She poked me in the arm playfully.

"You called me _'neechan._" So that was it? I had affectionately called her "big sister," so she was calling me "little brother?"

"I wasn't thinking you'd call me _ototochan_, though."

"Well, what did you expect? '_Niisan_? Please. If I'm gonna be 'Nee, then you're gonna be Ototo." She waved the willow branch in her hand around threateningly. "Now get with the swinging, unless you want a fresh one." I smiled, rolled my eyes, and continued forward.

Every so often, we would haul our semi-nomadic selves to a city. Usually, we would end up in a tavern where at least I would drink myself into a stupor, and generally look for women to "spend time" with. Most of the time, however, Kireihana would stay sober. Perhaps she felt she had no reason to drink, or perhaps she had reasons not to. Maybe she wasn't quite as into "partying" as I was back then. Maybe she just stayed sober because she knew someone would have to drag me back to some inn, and she wasn't going to trouble someone who didn't deserve to deal with us, drunken and tired. She would usually be the one who became my crutch as I lost my balance on the cobblestone roads, one of her arms arm slung under mine. Of course, arriving at these cities would always be an annoying affair. She always intended to continue our training there, so as to improve my versatility, and I...well, I wanted to look for women. I was young and single, what can I say? It was a pattern that started out from our first venture out as "'neechan and ototochan."

"Alrighty, so we've gone over the plan like six million times. What are we here to do, ototochan?" I sighed deeply.

"I'm not a child, Kireihana. We're going to--" My head snapped in the other direction. "Wow, she is gorgeous." I spun around and attempted to follow the girl who had caught my eye. Kireihana tripped me. "What was that for?!"

"The plan was to go get some dinner, get some rest at an inn, go to the local plant shop, and then up your lessons a step. Nowhere in that plan were the words, 'sleep with women!'" Her narrow chest heaved as she glared at me, breathing heavily. Her foot descended upon my head and stayed there.

"Ow! I can't help you help me if I'm unconscious, 'neechan."

"Then I suppose I just won't help you. Ta-ta, have fun bedding women and then getting caught by the poilce and fading into obscurity when your kitsune-bi fails to be effective." She turned to leave, but I grabbed her ankle. She turned back around, sort of smiling, and I started to get up. Her demi-smile widened into a full grin. "Glad you see it my way." I dusted myself off.

"You're just lucky I'm not better than you yet," I paused to grin, "'neechan."

"Aww, how sweet. You never will be," she poked me in the shoulder, "ototochan."

"That's great. Can I go talk to that woman now? As a treat, maybe? For improving?" She sighed deeply.

"Sweet crap, I am a pushover. Alright, go on. I'll go get a room at that inn down the road." She pointed down the street. I smiled and put my arm around her.

"Thank you, 'neechan!" And with that, I began to look for the young woman again. As it turned out, she tended to be a "pushover" during most of my exploits in lusting for women. I strongly suspect she did it so that she could search for a prospective mate of her own. Of course, for fear of the willow branch on my poor ankles, I would never say that to her face. She acted outraged when she was embarassed. She would often hit me several times rapidly in succession and scream, "How dare you," while her face flushed with color. I didn't want to confirm my suspicions at the cost of a broken nose, so I never pried into why she let me go so freely when she was such a corporal teacher. Of course, that was another thing I loved about her. There was the stern, strict teacher, and then there was the sweet, friendly 'neechan. I preferred her outside of my lessons, mainly because she didn't hit me as often then. Well, yes she did, but she hit me harder during training. If I was going to fail, I was going to feel it, she made sure of that. She once said something that, I believe summed up our entire teacher-student relationship. I recall looking at yet another lovely woman (there was a surplus that year, I tell you) and she punched me in the head and said the words that I remember when I think of our training.

"Oi! Dipwad!" She was so tender. "The only woman you should be paying any attention to right now is me, and anyway, you want what's in my_ plants_, not my _pants_, you got that?!" I rubbed my head and told her, "Yes, ma'am," and never learned to stop looking for mates anyway. She had plenty to teach me, about plants, about life, about morality, about hair, and about so many other things. What I brought up here was only a tiny sampling. If I could state what she had taught me, it would take hours, and I would probably still miss some.

If my years with Kireihana were made into a movie, my character would not have possibly learned as much as I did. No overly-beautiful actress can take the place of tall, skinny, loud, acrobatic, scheming, smooth-talking, ankle-whipping, gold-digging Kireihana. And I wouldn't have it any other way.


	3. What She Really Wants

'Neechan  
Chapter Three: What She Really Wants  
by the Rurouni Idoru

Rurouni's Note: Kurama peels back another layer of Kireihana's essence: her love of stuff. No seriously, stuff. This also introduces the ever-important crystal pendant.  
And to my ONE reviewer: I figure he'd be roughly the equivalent of 18 or 19. Kireihana's about the same age, but they're both pretty old in actual years by this point, so neither one is sure of their exact age, which I address in this chapter! Aren't you lucky? By the way, if anyone else bothers to look at this, leave any questions you might have in a review and I'll see if I can answer them, ne? Okay, on with the disclaiming! Ah, and P.S.: Kireihana's reaction is actually really viewable in picture form at Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho, Makai, or many other things that I want. But I do own Kireihana, who can be a burden sometimes. Ah, _que sera sera_.

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I discovered that Kireihana liked things that glittered almost as much as I did. Perhaps even more, in a way. I became filled with boyish glee when I saw something expensive and heavily guarded. It was a new challenge, and something nice to look at to boot. But when Kireihana was faced with something shiny and beautiful, she would become downright giddy in the thought of possibly owning it. However, if she couldn't buy it with her own fairly short funds (although she did take odd jobs now and then to boost her money count) then these dreams would remain dreams. When she did get something too pretty for its own good, she would giggle and grin at it for days. I would usually get bored with my new expensive playthings within hours, and plan the next big heist. If, at the time, Kireihana was devoid of something new and sparkling, she would usually scold me for it. If she had something that glimmered in the light, she could care less if I put on a pink tutu and danced, singing a song about birds and chipmunks. I know because she told me herself. At least she was a realist when it came to her own strangeness. I learned of her expensive tastes within a month or two of meeting her, which, considering a kitsune's lifespan and thus my concept of time, wasn't that long.

"The full moon's coming, right"? This was what she asked me as I prepared to go to sleep one night. I glanced at the moon.

"Yep. Why?" She sat gazing at the sky, hugging her knees.

"My birthday's gonna be in a week. When the moon is its fullest. I've kept track." I was impressed. She cared that much about her birthday, did she?

"So how old are you?"

"Pfft, like I know." I fell over in shock. So meticulous about her birthday, and she didn't even know her age? "I've forgotten by now. Eventually, I'll reach 800, and I'll turn into a wood nymph. Then I'll know for sure how old I am. Unless I see a calendar, though, I won't know exactly until then."

"A wood nymph?" Without removing her gaze from the stars, she nodded.

"I'll be able to transform myself into a tree. Humans call women who can do that wood nymphs. I think." I raised an eyebrow.

"How do you know about humans?"

"I like to read about them." We were both quiet.

"Eight hundred, huh?"

"Yeah. Unlike kitsune, we reach our peak at 800. Then we just sorta age nice and gracefully." There was another pause. "I want something nice, you know. For my birthday. Something very very nice." I rolled my eyes.

"Like what? Diamonds, gold, silver, one of those rare so-called moonstone things that they keep in the museums...?"

"Don't steal me something, jackass! She turned around and threw one of her shoes at me. She then called me something that suspiciously sounded like "forking icehole" under her breath.

"Ow! Why did you just throw a shoe at me?"

"Because you needed it!" She turned back around so I was facing her back once more. "Anyhow, I want something nice, and something you paid for. You can afford it." And then, she laid down and went to sleep so I could lose sleep over what to get her. I had until the full moon to get her something "nice." Well, it would have to be shiny, or she'd be disappointed. And she'd want something she could use. And she didn't want me to steal it, but I didn't care much about that detail. I would love to steal some nice expensive things, and she would love to get some nice expensive things. There was a jewelery store in the nearest city. I had a feeling that I would find something for her in there. So, sometime that week, I would have to head into town and get her some sort of pretty jeweled thing. Mmm, fun.

While Kireihana slept one night, I peered at the moon. A little more than half full, I still had time. She was drooling slightly, which signified to me that she was not spying to see if I had gotten her gift yet. I poked her gently in the arm to see just how lightly she was sleeping. She swatted at my hand and mumbled some nonsense. Clearly, I would have to sneak through the woods, or my cover was blown. Slowly, I tiptoed through the trees, taking care not to step on anything that made noise. Soon, I was far away enough that I could trust myself to run. As swiftly as possible, I darted through the forest and into the sleepy town. All the lights were off, and I assumed that there was no one awake. I dashed over to the building of the jewelry store. A jump or two later, I was on top of the roof. There it was that I found a skylight. This, to me, has always been a ridiculous concept. Why would anyone put a window in the roof for cat burglars to get into? Well, I was glad that no one had seen the sheer idiocy of it besides myself. With a single long pink nail and lock-picking skills, I made quick work of the lock on the window. I carefully lifted the window up. Then, I produced a vine from under my sash that I had cut from the trees where I trained. I tied one end around my waist, and the other end to the loop on the window where the lock latched in. Delicately, I lowered myself in. I hovered a foot or two from the ground, and untied the vine from my waist. I leapt over the counter and began to look at the selections. Finally, I settled on a necklace. It was a pointed crystal, held in by a silver setting on a silver chain. Personally, I preferred gold, but Kireihana did like her silver. With all the grace I could muster, I opened the door and pulled out the necklace.

"Hello, you lovely little piece of shine. You're getting a new mommy this week. And she'll love you so much she won't even care that I..." I pulled the vine off the floor and began to climb upwards with the necklace on my arm, "didn't really pay for you!" And with that, I ascended the final inches of the vine and pulled myself onto the roof. The heist was a success. Kireihana was getting a shiny gift.

She never suspected that I might hide her gift in my sash. I did catch her peeking around my other stolen goods, but never did she look underneath my wide fabric belt. Mainly, I think, because she didn't want to come that close to such an area of my body. I counted down the days until the full moon carefully, as Kireihana got more and more antsy. I felt very proud of myself whenever she dropped hints about what to get her. Did she honestly think I was that absent-minded, that I would wait so long to get her a present after she nearly threatened me with death? I may have been naive at this point in my life, but, contrary to what Kireihana often said, I certainly was not stupid. I knew what she wanted out of life, as far as material goods went. And what it was that she wanted was sitting underneath my belt.

I woke up one morning, with a content grin on my face. The first things I saw through the thick tree leaves were the pale morning moon, and Kireihana's expectant smiling face. In my morning stupor, I can recall thinking that she was quite pretty when she wasn't calling me an idiot or doing me some form of bodily harm. This was a realization I had reached before, but somewhere in the haze of morning drowsiness, I forgot that. She wasn't the sort of pretty that I would try to woo. She was the same sort of pretty as a stolen necklace. My smile disappated from my face as this analogy flowing through my head made me remember what day it was. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, trying my best to look nonchalant and completely ignorant of Kireihana. I swear I could hear the excited grin fall off of her face.

"Did you see the sky? Look UP. UP!" I lazily gazed upwards and stared directly at the moon. Now, I was still fairly sleepy, but I'm sure the moon winked at me, as if it were in on my little torture attempt. After such grueling training she had put me through for the past month? I figured she deserved to be toyed with a little.

"The moon's full." I could think of absolutely nothing to say that would make me look like more of an oblivious and uncaring idiot than that. I swear that this time, I heard something in Kireihana's head go _snap!_

"W-...well yeah, the moon's full! Don't you remember?" I thoughtfully stroked my chin.

"Was I planning a heist for today?"

"...NO!"

"Hmm. Did I promise to meet a woman today? I can't remember."

"...Are you out to destroy me?"

"Alright then, were we going to the city or something?"

"I hate you so much right now!" I feigned innocence, smiling as I reached for the necklace tucked under my belt.

"I wonder if this wonderfully sparkling and positively gorgeous peice of jewelry has anything to do with it. Perhaps it's someone's _birthday_...?" I offered it to her casually. Kireihana actually squealed. She took it, her mouth wide open in delight, her fingers splayed wide apart. One hand sort of covered her gaping mouth, and the other held the glittering necklace in front of her so she could observe it more closely. She was giggling, and I'm not sure if she even knew it.

"Oh, Kurama, it's the most beautiful present I've ever seen! This must have cost a for-...tune." The light in her eyes disappeared and she looked at me.

"What's wrong?" Clearly, that was a bad question to ask.

"You _stole_ this, didn't you? I'm holding hot merchandise in my hands, and it's not even just that it's warm because it was hidden under your belt." I wasn't sure if she was sad or angry. I_ was _sure that she'd send me to return it.

"Er, define stolen." She responded to my attempt at being coy by throwing a rock at me.

"Kurama! I specifially asked you not to steal something for me! Now you are going to go back to wherever you got this from and pay for it!" I started to protest, but then I realized what she had said. She had never asked me to go back and pay for what I had stolen. She always forced me to return it, if she was that mad at the act.

"Pay for it? You mean you want to keep it?" She threw another rock.

"Well of course I want to keep it! It's the most beautiful thing I've ever owned!" I smiled. I had picked out something she loved beyond compare. She and I went into the city together to officially buy the necklace. I honestly didn't mind. It made her so happy, after all. There would be other gifts to follow, of course, but none of them got the same reaction as the first. After that day, she always wore that necklace. She tended to tuck it into her top so it wouldn't get damaged, which is a tip someone probably should have given Kuronue many years later. I don't know what it meant that I was absolutely right about her gift. Perhaps it made us both vain. Perhaps it made me a good guesser. But I'd prefer to think that it meant that she could see right through me, and I could see right through her, and that's why the crystal pendant fit it so well.


	4. Itokochan and 'Neechan

'Neechan

Chapter Four: Itokochan and 'Neechan

by the Rurouni Idoru

Rurouni's Note: Kireihana meets Kurama's cousin. Sparks fly. And glasses. Itoko, incidentally means "cousin." I looked it up.

Disclaimer: I dun own nothin'. 'Cept Kireihana. And Michiru. And stuff.

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Kireihana never got along well with my cousins. They were my only family she ever met, and she saw Michiru the most often. Her very nature clashed with Michiru's. Kireihana (for the most part) was kind, moral, and oddly astute. She was so kindhearted that she would talk us out of any corner, even knowing that was I was doing went against everything she stood for. She wasn't about to let her see her pupil get hunted down before his lessons were done. But Michiru, she could care less. A few years after Kireihana, I partnered up with her. She was radically different from Kireihana. She was spoiled, arrogant, corrupt, and about as blinded by men as I was by women. That may well be hereditary, actually. While Kireihana could keep her head in stressful situations (whether it was helping me escape the police or dealing with drunken men hitting on her), Michiru was fairly frantic, and lost all ability to compute reality when problems arose. Of course, being the ignorant Youko that I was, I didn't notice how fundamentally different they were until it was too late.

They first met in a bar. Kireihana and I were there because the bars had cheaper food than the restaraunts, and cheaper was better as long as Kireihana was footing the bill, which she was at that time. It just so happened that Michiru was there, and juggling three different men who were unaware of it. As she sat giggling in one poor youkai's lap, I spotted her. I called to her while Kireihana ordered our dinner.

"Michiru-chan! Who would have thought I'd see you here?" She turned her head to look at me, confused, and it dawned on her.

"Kurama! What're you doing here?" She hopped out of her current interest's lap and right up to me.

"Eating!" Michiru giggled, and Kireihana turned from the bar and raised an eyebrow.

"I mean what brings you to this neck of the woods, itokochan?" She only called me that when she hadn't seen me for a while, and thus had forgotten anything I had done to make her angry, or when she wanted something out of me. I had been gone from the den for several years by this point, so I figured it was the former. Kireihana stepped quietly up to me, peering at me annoyedly.

"Oh no, don't introduce me or nothin'. I'm only your partner, who's buying you dinner and teaching you how to not suck..." I rolled my eyes at Kireihana's sarcastic comment.

"Kireihana, this is my cousin, Michiru. Michiru, this is my partner and good friend Kireihana." The two shook hands. Kireihana smiled good-naturedly, while Michiru seemed to not care at all about my partner and good friend. That changed. Boy, did that change. Michiru walked up to the man whose lap she had been in, and whispered something in his ear. Then, she bounced her way to another part of the bar, where she began flirting with another man. Kireihana raised an eyebrow.

"Is your cousin actually?"

"Oh yeah, she's worse than me. When I'm trying to charm multiple girls at once they're either not in the same room or fighting over me." I nodded as I spoke. Kireihana paused a moment, dumbfounded. She held up an index finger for a moment, put it back down, and finally found her words.

"So you have scruples and she doesn't." Again, I nodded.

"When it comes to dating, yes." Kireihana then did something very unwise. She approached Michiru in "seeking mate mode." For a moment, I was afraid she would tweak Michiru's ears like she did to interrupt me when I was flirting. That would be a bad idea, because Michiru didn't know her like I did, and did not realize the kind of control she could have by dangling shiny expensive gifts over her head. I think that might be why she let me get away with all the hitting on women that I did: I wouldn't give her birthday presents if she was a hateful wench. Her fingers hovered over Michiru's ears for a moment, enhancing my fear, but as it turns out, she was doing the "unsure gestures" she tended to do when she couldn't think of what to say. She put her hands down and began to speak, bumbling along the words as she went.

"Er, Michiru-san..." Her eyes rapidly moved around. "Uh, I don't mean to pry, but..." Michiru wouldn't let her finish the poorly-thought out protest.

"Oh! Right. Tatsumi, this is my cousin's friend, Kirihama." Kireihana narrowed her eyes, unamused at the lack of care Michiru had about her name.

"Kireihana."

"Whatever." Kiriehana's frown deepened. Tatsumi said hello to her, and she narrowly glared at me. She stalked over to me, and quietly, fiercely told me one thing.

"I don't like your cousin."

"That's not my fault, stop looking at me like that!"

"Make her stop being like you only worse."

"That's like telling me to stop being Kurama."

"So stop being Kurama and make your cousin stop being a horrible horrible woman."

"No can do."

"Yes can do!" She pounded her fists into my chest. "At least tell her my name again, she'll listen to you!"

"I don't meddle in the affairs of women who are angry and violent."

"You suck so much, Kurama!" It was then we noticed Michiru slink off to speak to her third suitor. "Three now?"

"In the same room? She's daring tonight. Two is risky, but three...OOF!" Kireihana kicked me hard in the shin.

"Do something about that hussy cousin of yours!"

"I told you, if there are angry women involved, I'm staying away." She glared at me and tightened her mouth.

"I want to hurt you so badly right now." she said through clenched teeth. She then seized a lock of my hair and pulled hard, fufilling the wish she had just told me. I shouted in pain, and prepared to berate her. Of course, I couldn't do that, because she had left to go try to destroy Michiru again.

"Michiru-san, you haven't introduced me to...Tatsumi, did you say his name was?" Michiru seemed stunned, and quickly thought of an excuse. Of course, her excuse would have been much more beleiveable if she were Kireihana. Kireihana could charm her way out of anything with her half-baked excuses and cool head.

"No, no, Kirihana, Tatsumi was my friend from my childhood. Itokosan can tell you all about him. This is Mamoru."

"It's still Kireihana, Michiru-san. Not Kirihana, not Kirihama, not anything else. Kireihana is my name." Mamoru blinked in confusion as the two ladies talked. The bartender asked Michiru if she was done with her near-empty glass of whatever she was having. She shook her head and looked at Kireihana.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. It was an accident. Your name is a little confusing, after all." Kireihana forced a sweet smile that one could see right through because it looked like it hurt her.

"Okay, I understand." She turned and began walking away from Michiru and Mamoru. She muttered a certain expletive that began with a _B_. Apparently, she said it louder than she realized. Michiru furrowed her brow and seized her glass from the bar. She jumped off Mamoru's lap and reared her arm back. She then hurled her glass at Kireihana and shouted another certain expletive that began with a _W_. Kireihana narrowly dodged the glass and it shattered against the wall.

"I think you're a little confused on that matter, honey." Kireihana whipped around, her long hair twirling gracefully with her. By now, everyone in the bar was staring. "_I'm_ not the floozy who's trying to get lucky with three men _at the same bar_!" The three men she was trying to ensnare began to protest this, asking who the other men were. Needless to say, they quickly found their answers and sat back down, humiliated. Michiru gasped in shock.

"I...how dare...wh-..." She turned her head to face me. "Itokochan!" This time, she wanted something. And I was not giving in.

"Leave me out of this!" I threw up my hands, claiming neutrality. "I'm not choosing sides, the other one of you'll kill me!"

"Y'hear that, ya dumb floozy? It's just you against you cousin's trainer. I think you're gonna wanna run away." Michiru took a step toward Kireihana.

"I'm not running from you, harpy. Youko Michiru doesn't run from shrews like you." Kireihana crossed her arms confidently.

"Maybe that's because you don't know how to. All you seem to be able to do with your legs is spread them. Which may explain the overpowering stench in here." Michiru slapped her for this remark. Suddenly channeling my brother, I muttered what he would say whenever Michiru acted up at home.

"Oh my Inari." Kireihana would not take a slap in the face lightly, and served Michiru an uppercut to the jaw.

"Harlot!" She felt Michiru's right hook once the word left her mouth.

"Hag!" Kireihana kicked her in the stomach.

"Tart!" Michiru got up and backhanded Kireihana, knocking her to the ground.

"Last resort!" Kireihana, never to be defeated by a mere backhand and insult to her appearance, sweep-kicked Michiru, bringing her down as well. To punctuate the blow, she shouted something else at Michiru.

"Streetwalker!" Apparently, being called a flat-out prostitute was it for Michiru, and she pounced on Kireihana. Thus, it became an all-out, hair-pulling, face-scratching, high-screaming catfight. Many of the men at the bar began placing bets. Most just enjoyed it for what it was. I, however, sat at an empty table, eating my chicken dinner in shame.

For the rest of their lives, Michiru and Kireihana called each other by those certain W and B expletives respectively. If I couldn't keep them apart, they usually ended up at least having a verbal war. I tried to never let Kireihana and Michiru come into contact. I often told Kireihana that I wanted her to get along with my family. She usually replied that she wouldn't be friends with a jezebel like my cousin. Or some variation on the word _jezebel_. I suppose, though, that if Kireihana had grown up with us in the den, that she would fit right in, dysfunctional as the rest. Maybe she and Michiru would have milder arguments instead of total brawls. One thing is for sure, though: There would have been far too much estrogen and adrenaline floating around that den for me.


End file.
